Our winter holidays bring all sorts of excitement to the longer nights of winter: twinkling and flashing lights, music, carols and ringing bells, and a plethora of opportunities to gather with family, friends and even total strangers.
Imagine Pediatric Therapy knows that while these festivities are festive and warming, all these changing sounds, sights and people can be for neurodivergent children. The holidays themselves change our basic routine of daily life, and adjusting to just those changes can be challenging for children with special needs. Children miss the regularity of school each day and parents may scramble (and stress) to find appropriate and welcoming care. When lights, noise, unfamiliar people and special clothing are piled on top, the holidays can be an uncomfortable, upsetting sensory overload for many children. The good news is that you can get a plan in place now to make the next several weeks much easier for the whole family. At Imagine Pediatric Therapy, we know that planning is the key to happy holidays.
Lights
Decorate your own home in stages, showing your child pictures from year’s past and planning a decorating schedule together. Determine together how many lights, how many ornaments and how much sparkle your child feels comfortable with.
While families can lower the lights at home, it’s difficult to ask hosts to do the same, especially when you are attending a public event. Brainstorm solutions with your child before the event. Would your child feel most comfortable just looking at their shoes? Would they prefer a pair of sunglasses or perhaps a sleep mask to use for a moment when they are particularly distressed? Giving your child all the information you can will help you both form a plan to deal with flashing, twinkling, strobing lights.
Sounds
It’s music, music, music! It’s choirs singing, singing, singing! It’s bells and chimes ringing, ringing, ringing! After you’ve talked to your child about what to expect at holiday gatherings and events, talk through solutions. Would they like noise-dampening headphones to get through a concert – or even a family gathering? Respect their need for a break from loud noise, and have a plan to move to a quieter spot when needed.
Crowds
When you’re invited (and want to attend) parties and dinners with extended family, talk to your child about who will be there. If possible, show them photos from past events and explain who everyone is, who is expected to be there this year and what you imagine might happen. Prepare your child to open presents and to express gratitude. Explain to your child that even though they may not like a gift, it’s polite to truthfully say, “It was so nice of you to buy this for me.” Go through the foods they might encounter and the games you might play. Decide on signals which they can give you to indicate they need a break from the event, perhaps in a quieter room or even outside for a spell if the weather is nice. If your child is uncomfortable with physical contact, be prepared to make it very clear to well-meaning adults that hugs are off limits.
If you must take your child shopping, do so at off-peak times. When you are attending a public holiday event such as a tree lighting or concert, again prepare your child for what they will see and hear. Explain how they may be in close contact with strangers. Demonstrate how that might feel by standing very close to your child. Without alarming your child with the possibility of getting lost, explain that they will need to hold your hand or perhaps your coat or scarf while navigating crowds so you can stay safely together. When you arrive at the venue, prepare an “escape route.” If your child does become overwhelmed, knowing the location of the nearest exit can help prevent a meltdown.
Planning early – especially to establish a regular daily holiday routine, identifying and adapting to triggers, and having open discussions with your family, your child, and hosts can help your child and you get through the noise, bright lights and crowded spaces to truly enjoy the holidays.
